Moja mojstrovina in jo

Sorry for making you feel bad, but also I'm sorry for somehow ruining what we already had. I never planned nor foresaw that this is what is bound to happen but this is not a reason to dismiss what I feel for you, but rather think about it from a manner far away from you. Because the more I'm near, the more I see how beautiful you are inside and out, the more I'm near the more I see the reasons why you are worth the risk, and the more I get close to you, the more I tend to not consider anyone, anymore. And the challenge is this: What if you are far, what would I see? what if there are many choices available, would my stance stay right here? So if ever there is a question of why I choose to be far, because the farther we are from each other the more we'll see the need to be together.

I admit it, sometimes I get to excited to talk to you and end up ruining your day.  Sometimes I get too scared talking to you that it brings me farther to what values I previously told you.  Sometimes, Most of the time rather, I tend to be my self too much and make you feel bad about it.  But I am sorry If I cannot give you rainbows and jellybeans because I wanted to make you see how bad the world is,  how unfair life can be  but also how am I willing to take the chance and take risk.

I may always mock you and spark to trigger the "bad" in your days, and tell you things that would make you frown and go away from me. That sometimes all of these actions are series of lies to hide what's underneath. but one thing is for sure that I wasn't lying of how hard that heavenly smile got me on my knees.

I might not be fluent with my words but my heart is certain what is it for you life may be a bit unfair in this world so let us go beyond what this world can do. I cannot yet hold a ring and bend my knee, but until then I'll try to hold my words and kick things up. just like a motorcycle in an old fashioned way, it needs a little kick to pump things up.

I have this philosophy of when something is for you, it will always be for you. There is nothing to be lost for what belongs to you will always find it's way back. If it never came back, you have nothing to own to begin with. So I have this Philosophy, when something is lost it isn't yours. But when I realized that it's you I lost; I wanted to modify my philosophy to: Whatever comes back is, will be and yours from the beginning, The races always end at the finish line, Comebacks are real, That the ends are the real deal, and that is where you put the seal. But still, cannot yet testify on that, So I have this new and improved Philosophy to show what kind of a Philosopher am I: the longer the wait, the heavier the weight is. Pain will intensify, Pain will testify, During the actual exams, no teacher is checking. We have to wait, and see who did look for something to reap at the end, and not to only see-saw at the beginning.

I believe that there are two reasons why you tell someone you love her, number one is to be with her. When I say to be with her, I mean to end up being with her, when I say to end up being with her, I mean to love her everyday and when I say to love her everyday what I mean is to marry you someday, and when I say to marry you one day, it means that  I will do every single compromise that we will ever need just make this work. I'll fly you to the moon when you tell me that you need some space, If you doubt that you no longer know yourself I will tell you stories that we have shared, that we have started to remind you from who you really are from the beginning. I'll make you laugh when you can't seem to find a reason to smile, I'll tell you my best jokes, my dad jokes, my bad jokes, my sad jokes; I mean it's one of those jokes that makes you really sad because it's not really funny and I'm really trying my best to make it work.  When you no longer ...