A message to my 18 year old self
Hi! It's Dowayne, I'm you ten years ago, so basically you are me 10 years from your time now, and I have a couple of advices/cheats to be able to help you be me.
First an evidence that it's me, I know that 10 years from now you will still love the girl you love today, its May 27, 2027 today, and I cannot forget the night 10 years ago, when you have just prayed so hard for her to stay in your life, it's 12:10mn and you just finished praying exactly at 12:02mn, and I know you prayed for her, so hard, so bad that you cried.
You never had the best first times with her, it's a series of serious fights not so common but enough to make her walk outside the room and go back holding a traditional bread called ensaymada and she never gave you, even a tiny piece. So believe me now here it goes.
If you saw someone so beautiful that you cannot resist her eyes, the way she smiles, how eyes vanishes into a straight line while laughing please make her your best friend, I know you'll think of all the possible consequences but later, you'll meet her on a debate training and you will become the best of friends until you fall in love with her. And I know, you had been thinking of all the diversions in the world to not entertain the feelings, you'll go into various relationships thinking that they might help you get over but don't. Be patient, wait for her.
Time will come that you will be able to tell her how you feel, she will not take it seriously she'll take it as a preparation to April fools but let her feel it. Prove it, fetch her everytime, even if her destination is nearer from her house than yours, even if it is a 10 minute walk under the heat of the sun, Go for it. Pretend going near her destination just to be with hear, every single time, escort her to every Church practice, every meeting, every single time she permits you to come, go. And revive your writing rename an old blog with her initials, she'll never figure it out. You'll see an old poem entitled "goodbye" keep it, your best friend would be so happy to read it.
One day, you'll meet a girl that loves you from way back then, she'll make you write more but do what is not right, she'll tell you everything bad about her, I know you don't want to lose your love, but never ever pursue this one day girl for your dream girl. You'll ask everyone for advices but when she tells you to stop, stop it. She means it. You'll be happy with her, take all the risk, all the sleepless nights, all the days waiting for her, all the way following her everywhere she goes, you'll have your 1st photo together, you smiled as if you saw forever. You'll be happy, so much happy.
But one night you will mess everything up, you will ask her if she loves you, and push her to her limits, she'll explain that this is not special, I'm sorry, I don't think of this much yet, and I can't even promise you the future, who knows what it holds. You will realize that you have ruined everything she'll start ignoring you, won't reply to your messages, even the usual "Good morning" and "Good night" will be missing, everything you have ever dreamed of will slowly vanish. And you are to think of crying, praying, not going to sleep, still to chat her and you are to do all of these, never regret even a single word. I don't assure you for it to be easy, but fight, pray. And do everything not to lose her, trust me. She will be everywhere, wait for her, care for her, love her still from a far, don't stop. I know you wont because you are my ten-year-ago-self, I know you'll wait, happy 10 years of waiting! And one clue, maybe it would take her 11 years to reply, but let see, what is another year of writing! Bye!
First an evidence that it's me, I know that 10 years from now you will still love the girl you love today, its May 27, 2027 today, and I cannot forget the night 10 years ago, when you have just prayed so hard for her to stay in your life, it's 12:10mn and you just finished praying exactly at 12:02mn, and I know you prayed for her, so hard, so bad that you cried.
You never had the best first times with her, it's a series of serious fights not so common but enough to make her walk outside the room and go back holding a traditional bread called ensaymada and she never gave you, even a tiny piece. So believe me now here it goes.
If you saw someone so beautiful that you cannot resist her eyes, the way she smiles, how eyes vanishes into a straight line while laughing please make her your best friend, I know you'll think of all the possible consequences but later, you'll meet her on a debate training and you will become the best of friends until you fall in love with her. And I know, you had been thinking of all the diversions in the world to not entertain the feelings, you'll go into various relationships thinking that they might help you get over but don't. Be patient, wait for her.
Time will come that you will be able to tell her how you feel, she will not take it seriously she'll take it as a preparation to April fools but let her feel it. Prove it, fetch her everytime, even if her destination is nearer from her house than yours, even if it is a 10 minute walk under the heat of the sun, Go for it. Pretend going near her destination just to be with hear, every single time, escort her to every Church practice, every meeting, every single time she permits you to come, go. And revive your writing rename an old blog with her initials, she'll never figure it out. You'll see an old poem entitled "goodbye" keep it, your best friend would be so happy to read it.
One day, you'll meet a girl that loves you from way back then, she'll make you write more but do what is not right, she'll tell you everything bad about her, I know you don't want to lose your love, but never ever pursue this one day girl for your dream girl. You'll ask everyone for advices but when she tells you to stop, stop it. She means it. You'll be happy with her, take all the risk, all the sleepless nights, all the days waiting for her, all the way following her everywhere she goes, you'll have your 1st photo together, you smiled as if you saw forever. You'll be happy, so much happy.
But one night you will mess everything up, you will ask her if she loves you, and push her to her limits, she'll explain that this is not special, I'm sorry, I don't think of this much yet, and I can't even promise you the future, who knows what it holds. You will realize that you have ruined everything she'll start ignoring you, won't reply to your messages, even the usual "Good morning" and "Good night" will be missing, everything you have ever dreamed of will slowly vanish. And you are to think of crying, praying, not going to sleep, still to chat her and you are to do all of these, never regret even a single word. I don't assure you for it to be easy, but fight, pray. And do everything not to lose her, trust me. She will be everywhere, wait for her, care for her, love her still from a far, don't stop. I know you wont because you are my ten-year-ago-self, I know you'll wait, happy 10 years of waiting! And one clue, maybe it would take her 11 years to reply, but let see, what is another year of writing! Bye!
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